Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize