After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize