Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
