I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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