community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
As shirtless as possible
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
They have beer where we have blood.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He has the fingertips of a God
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
