he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
try to milk me bitch
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
