It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize