i think my tv is drunk
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Randomize
