We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize