Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
