so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
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