and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
FUCK WHALES
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
