Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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