did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
