but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
