Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
It's rum buckets o'clock
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
