Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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