You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Randomize
