I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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