Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
