yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
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you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize