She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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