My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
COCAINE IS GR8
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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