chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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