Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
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