So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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