I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize