I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I FOUND THE LEGS
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
