I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
