no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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