Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
The feeling are messing with the penis
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
