hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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