i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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