dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
