remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize