last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
