Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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