Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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