So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
