We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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