He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
