someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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