Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
