Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
