Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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