But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
