How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
