This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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