so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize