what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Randomize