Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
It's just like the Real World with babies
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
