how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
