Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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