Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
