i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Randomize
