I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
