marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
