I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize