She went from zero to smokin in five shots
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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