i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
And then he peed in my hair
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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